This was this morning, when I decided to be naughty and ditch the screen for some self-care in the form of soaking up nature.
Now, I’m not really supposed to drive yet, even though I’m finally Free Of The Cast. My left elbow is still tender, the joint is a bit stiff from being confined to a 90° position for 5 weeks, and my left arm is as weak as a noodle, no joke. But how else was I supposed to get myself and the doggo to the forest? So I just got in the car, and everything was actually fine, until I had to parallel park the car when returning to our narrow street. It’s not a one-way, but it might as well be. There is not room for two cars to go past each other, and both curbs are lined with parking cars. Sigh. But I gritted my teeth, swore a bit because it hurt like a mofo, and the car is now beautifully parked.
But back to the self-care. Early this morning, I listened to an interview on a podcast called Fight The Burnout. The interviewee is one of my favorite people in the world, and to say we have a lot in common would be an understatement: genes, experiences, memories, history. She’s my sister from another mister who was actually my stepbrother, and we’ve known each other all our lives. I love her dearly, and when she tells me something, I listen. This is not true for many people in the world. Anyway, the podcast is ultimately about understanding and preventing burnout. Recognizing the signs, strategies for not letting it go too far, and help for when it already has.
On the pod, A. says at one time that one of her own self-care strategies is hiking by herself, and sitting down and listening to the birds. No phone, no book, no podcast, no music. Can you see what made me take my butt out to the woods today?
Being a working parent is challenging. We all know that if you really want to be accessible to the kid(s), something’s gotta give. Statistically, the general choices seem to be either the woman’s work, or the marriage, with a few notable exceptions where people actually manage to partner up and split chores, childcare and working hours.
Over the course of 16 years of kindergarten and school, I’ve met my fair share of families, and in most cases, there was one primary caretaker and one primary breadwinner. More often than not, the caretaker is the mom, as sad as that is from a feminist standpoint, me included. In my case, the choice was mostly dictated by finances. But also I stumbled into motherhood deaf, dumb and blind, and it was such a revelation to me that I was actually able to pull it off, that to my own surprise I found that I wanted to be a mom more than I wanted to pursue my career. The first years with my two kiddos are full of cherished memories, and I would make the same choice all over again if I could. I do know couples who manage to divide chores, childcare and work evenly among themselves, and I know at least two dads who were the primary caretakers. The younger generation seem to be better at that than my own.
So, strategies to dodge burnout might include:
Meditation, yoga, mindfulness
Healthy food intake
When you think about it, all these things have one thing in common: they concern you, first and foremost. Time to yourself, food that’s good for you, your own personal sleep or relaxation rituals, activities you enjoy, whether it be knitting or climbing a rope course. Taking care of yourself can have many faces. The important thing is that you actually stay mindful of your needs, listen to your body and soul, and give yourself a break, not when it’s too late, not in the nick of time, but as a regular thing. A. and the host of the pod call it ‚checking in‘. It’s good advice.
As you, dear regular stitch readers, know, my own personal strategy has been to adopt a dog. A few members of my hub were concerned when I did, predicting my imminent collapse under the pressure of having added yet another creature’s needs to my already full plate. Nobody really believed me when I said that I didn’t think it was going to be a burden at all. And it hasn’t been. Instead it has been, just like when I had my babies, a source of great happiness, love, laughter – and yes, a fair amount of exercise as well.
In this time of Covid, which has been serving each and every one of us their own series of shit sandwiches, it seems even more important that we look after ourselves. For only when we’re kind to yourself, can we be kind to others, be it a family, a company, or a community.
I’d be remiss not to mention (once again) my favorite television show, Schitt’s Creek, in this context. They won 9 (!) Emmy awards yesterday night, for their small-budgeted, big-hearted piece of ingeniousness. In his acceptance speech, Eugene Levy, the show’s co-mastermind, said it was „a celebration of inclusivity, a castigation of homophobia, and a declaration of the power of love“. It certainly was one of my happy places in challenging times. Go find it online if you can. It’s amazing :-).
Since having been relieved of my cast, I’ve practiced mindful crochet (is that even a thing?), one careful row at a time. It brought me great joy to finally be able to do that again!
And I’d like to share a recipe stolen from my fabulous friend F., whose birthday it is today. Congratulations to my favorite Wonder Woman Warrior!!! We used my husband’s tomatoes for it, and it’s a very simple, ingenious combination of cross-cultural spices and aromas. Here’s the
Hot Tomato Explosion Salad
6 large tomatoes
1 handful fresh basil
4 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP tomato paste
1 TSP harissa paste
Salt and pepper to taste
Chop tomatoes into 1 cm cubes. Finely chop the basil. Add oil, tomato paste and harissa. Give it a thorough stir. Add salt and pepper to taste.
We had it with Jamie Oliver’s stuffed tortillas (grated cheese, chopped green onions, chopped cilantro, thinly sliced red chili), and it was a beautiful combination indeed.
Have a good week, everybody.