A Black Monday

Hey everyone. I’m not even going to get into Covid-19 and the various ways it has impacted all of us over the past few weeks, that probably deserves a post (or several) on its own. I just hope all of you are staying sane, as well as healthy, and I hope to see you guys as soon as we’re not required to socially distance ourselves from each other. It has been weird, but we’ve had a shit sandwich of quite another sort to deal with, as we were accompanying our sweet kitty on the last leg of the last of her nine lives.

As our wonderful vet pointed out today, death can go on and on if you let it. He supported our decision to let her go now, rather than keep her going as a miserable, shaky, pained shadow of herself, just because we weren’t brave enough to make a decision.

So, we went there as a family, and were handed the obligatory Corona face masks. We were given time and a room to ourselves, and the sedative was administered. The lethal shot came when she was fast asleep. Her death was awful, and without fanfare, just like the other times I had the sad job of accompanying a pet on their final journey. Fritzchen stopped breathing around 2 p.m. She would have been 15 in August.

To be honest, I’ve been saying goodbye to this cat ever since she and her sister were diagnosed with kidney insufficiency years ago, trying to brace myself for this bad day, but of course you can’t prepare for this shit. It hurts, and all of us are heartbroken, despite having been well aware this day would come.

But even as I’m crying bitter tears of loss, I mostly feel grateful for the privilege of having lived with her, prickly personality, beautiful black coat and adorable white blaze on her forehead. She was a gorgeous animal, and much loved by all of us, most of all by my boy whose heart I can hear breaking all the way from his room down the hallway. It was he who bore the brunt of caring for her over her last weeks, as she didn’t really leave his loft bed much anymore, and he spent many, many hours there with her, sleeping and awake. He held a night vigil for her yesterday, not wanting to waste her last hours with us. I joined them for a while between 4 and 5 a.m. It was time well spent.

In closing, I’d like to give heartfelt thanks to all of you who thought of us, and prayed for us, and asked after Fritzchen so kindly – we are grateful for each and every one of you. You are making this easier, truly.

And finally: Pet lovers, and especially those who consider adopting: Please do not let this sad tale deter you from taking in an animal. I can’t find words to describe how much great happiness, love, joy and laughter mine have given me over the decades. It’s not even a question for me: I’d never ever want to live without them.

Be safe, everybody, and take care of yourselves.IMG_3235

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